i am lonely most the times

And all this time, I thought you were a lover, not a fighter
I'm both
I've got layers
You were doing something nice
it's just that sometimes, when people do nice things for me
I short circuit. Maybe I'm not used to it
Maybe I'm scared of getting hurt, or being rejected for being myself
I should have told you about Chuck
But I lied
And instead I threw you this party that you didn't even want
Why did you?
Something is very, very wrong with me
Like there's this darkness in me that's overwhelming sometimes
And I don't know where it comes from
But I think that's what makes me do these crazy things
Like...